everybody returns some day

“Everybody returns someday.”

Someday indeed.

In the previous post I was getting excited to watch a new series – True Detective, and now that show has come and gone. My blog took a back seat, because for once I started actually living in the present as opposed to trying to hold on to the past. It always takes something special to pull you out of a slump, and while I seem to constantly have one foot in mine, I’m trying hard to have both feet on even ground.

I’ve written, deleted, re-written, and deleted this post at least five times over the past few months, wondering when would be an appropriate time to start writing again. Thinking to myself, when I would need to start writing again. While posting on tumblr has kept blogging here at bay, at some point having a voice behind the pictures is becoming equally important to me. I’ve always said it’s up to you, the viewer, to decipher what the photograph means (perhaps out of laziness to bother explaining, a trait i’ve gained from art school). Now, however – having experienced how wrong taking the silent seat can go – I’d rather clear the air about a lot of misconceptions out there. To challenge the voices of ignorant writers who cower behind their anonymous comments.

Since originally sitting down to write this post, Ella has become a two time grammy winner. She has taken home a Brit too. Currently she is on the opposite side of the world on tour. As much as I miss her, I couldn’t be prouder of what she has achieved so far. If you are lucky enough to attend one of her shows on this current tour, you’ll experience more than just her voice. The production she has dreamt up looks incredible… I can’t wait to see it myself next month.

If someone asked me what this blog was about, I really wouldn’t know how to answer… It started off as something trying to battle the giant that is tumblr, to escape a world of what I would say is original content lost – a seemingly endless stream of half naked girls and cats and it all repeated again and again: I have learnt that if you’re not putting up your own photos, someone else will, and they WILL take credit for your work. This blog developed into a series of words and pictures, thoughts and often over-thoughts about trying to live in a country that wasn’t my own, about trying to be in a relationship with a girl who lives 6000 miles away, about whatever the fuck someone in their 20′s shouldn’t be doing, but currently is. My life is probably a lot different now, but it feels normal on the inside.

Jared Leto said that fame doesn’t change you, it changes everyone around you. While I’m not the centre of attention here (and fuck, the times I have, it’s never been fun), I do become aware of the people around me and their transparency. They fail to hide it. I’ve experienced being a target of the tabloids, finding moments I thought I was in safe hands splattered all over the internet, being pushed and shoved, or watching others get pushed and shoved by paparazzi just to get what they think they’re entitled to. While I’m dragging on about the negative aspects, they are only a small part of my world now. There is a bright, shining silver lining to this thing I’ve been exposed to. I’ve had the privilege to sit on an aircraft for 12 hours, cramped, exhausted but happy (like Louis CK once said, “YOU’RE FLYING. YOU’RE SITTING IN A CHAIR IN THE SKY!”). I’ve been able to tell tales of the many amazing people I’ve met along the way – from fellow photographers, to artists I’ve always admired and never thought I’d get to meet, let alone have a simple thing like coffee with… People who seem to scramble the words within your brain and the only thing you end up doing is blurting out ‘HILSKDFLKWELK’ (at some point it’s a verbal greeting, but ends up a flurry of sweat mixed with spit). More importantly, I’ve found a little inspiration from new faces. People I look up to. People whose work I admire so much. For all of this I have to thank the one I look up to the most. Who I admire the most. Who still fills the little voids I try to avoid.

Some stories I keep for the memory banks, and some I’ll share here. Currently I am mostly at home trying to carry on with real life (and I call it real life even though for the most part it is all still so surreal).

While the posts may still be few and far between, this is my someday.

This is my return to the blog.

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Comments (33)

  1. March 18, 2014: Tina

    i’m a fan of everything that you do! especially your photographs.

  2. March 18, 2014: Mariana

    Baby James, you are the sweetest person ever! Your writing is so so beautiful and i’m extremely happy that you know have the right state of mind to start writing again!! <3
    I love your work in a manner that is so dear to my heart and all of this solidifies my love for you <3 <3
    Wish you all the best sweet baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. March 18, 2014: Constantine

    James, while it’s true that I discovered you through Lorde’s music it’s your own artistic abilities that made me stay and become a fan of your photographer and your unique yet humbling navigation through life. I will be quietly reading your updates and wishing you all the best.

  4. March 19, 2014: Tove

    Constantine, I couldn’t have said it better.
    James, your photos are beautiful and so are your words. You are in an interesting position for sure. I hope you get to take advantage of it and shoot amazing pictures, make connections, see new places.
    Best of luck from Sweden,
    Tove

  5. March 19, 2014: Britney

    This was such an eloquent post with deep thoughts churned into comprehensible words. I reckon your words are just as interesting as you photographs. Glad you’re back.

  6. March 19, 2014: Leila

    Although this is my first time on your blog (I was lead here by a friend). I’m glad I came when you’ve decided to start posting and writing again.

  7. March 21, 2014: Emily

    James-
    I am so pleased to see that you are back at it. I thoroughly enjoy your writings and photos. I also discovered you by means of Lorde, and I will be forever grateful that I did. Your facebook posts, tweets and instagrams are always amazing but I have to admit this blog is oh so much better. It feels personal like I can feel every word you write. I look forward to being able to continue reading your blog.
    Best Regards from Maine-
    Emily

  8. March 23, 2014: Colby

    Amazing work I love the picture in the field with the two hunters I would love to purchase some of your work! Great blog btw

  9. March 26, 2014: Rodrigo

    I really like the way you write and the photos you take! It’s good to have you back again, so don’t stop writing!!
    It must be hard to be far away from the one you love, but I know that you are really proud of Ella’s achievements! I hope that you can see Ella soon and you two can be together again!!

    Best wishes from Uruguay!

    Rodrigo

    P.S. Ella and you are very strong of not hearing what the press says, Don’t listen to what they say, they don’t know anything…

  10. March 26, 2014: dhoppage

    Well said James, keep up the good work!

  11. March 26, 2014: Lauren

    I’ve been following you on Instagram for a while and I’ve been exposed to the unusual beauty that is your photographs. You have a keen eye for capturing visuals. Use it wisely and polish it often!
    I’m so happy to have come across your blog too. Now I have something to look forward to! ;)
    If you don’t me asking that though… that quote you used… “everybody returns someday”… who was it that said it? I really like it and I’m curious to know.

  12. March 27, 2014: jamesklowe

    not a quote, or not at least one I saw and used. just words

  13. March 27, 2014: Lindsey

    James! You are so amazing! Props to you for standing by your girl…..who is my absolute idol!

  14. March 28, 2014: Natalie

    This is a great post James and I congratulate you on all your success, you deserve it. Thank you for being so mature and gracious with all the negativity that has happened and this really shows how humble you are. All the best, you’ll go far.

  15. March 28, 2014: Anzie

    I AM A FAN OF YOU! This blog is wonderful. You’re a good boyfriend and it’s rare to find people like you and Ella. It’s a beautiful Union. I wish more happy years for you both! And Much success to your Blog!! I’m definitely a new fan.

  16. March 28, 2014: Laurie

    Beautifully written.

  17. March 28, 2014: Sunny

    Stay honest and keep doing what you’re doing. This was a very real post, and yes I am a fan of your girlfriend’s work, and sometimes I forget that she’s a 17-year-old girl with a family and friends and a boyfriend and a private life. Blogging is somewhat of a celebrity culture imo… but you can make public what you want. You can be selective. Also, I think both of you have cool hair.

  18. March 28, 2014: Maria Nora

    you are awesome and it is amazing that you are speaking up! very brave of you to say how you see things! big fan! :)

  19. March 29, 2014: Camila

    From far, my greatest discovery of the day :) Such an amazing writer and photographer! You and Ella really seems to be ment together <3

  20. March 29, 2014: Vivian

    Though I’m not a big fan of Lorde’s music, I did find your work through her. This is a beautiful piece, eloquently written. Keep up the great work. I’m a fan.

  21. March 29, 2014: Michael

    Enjoy your blog – will revisit. Never let the media hacks and haters get to you, they are a waste of space and thought.

  22. March 29, 2014: Tom

    First off I have to say that you are a strong and smart and strong man. There are allot of good people behind you that are on your side, just keep being there for Ella that is what matters to you both.

    Please tell her I love her work. I really enjoying listening to her sound. Sadly we missed her when she was in Toronto Canada hope to see her show next time she is in Ontario Canada.

  23. March 29, 2014: Cheech

    Wow James, your writing is incredibly beautiful and thoughtful. Although i cannot relate to what you’ve been through thus far, I completely understand that you are constantly bombarded by the outsiders who criticizes so much even though it is none of their fucking business. I honestly think you are truly talented, by your words and photography. Don’t let others to put you down!
    Wish you best of luck!
    From USA

  24. March 29, 2014: AJFlamingo

    I came here bc I felt through what little I’d read about you were honest and trying hard to be yourself, so I wanted to hear and experience your voice for myself and not through any other’s media’s perception, I’m happy I did. I grew up as the daughter of someone loads of people looked up to for direction (a clergyman’s daughter) & escaped into my own hell for years. I married a house painter but saw in him creativity and knowing the position of the “power behind the throne” sought to make his talents known to those who could make his dreams happen, I succeeded. He morphed into a famous decorative finishes painter w/ a crew of 5; he is satisfied w/ his output, his work, his challenges. But, just short of 2 yrs. after we married, I got cancer for the 1st time, it recurred a yr. later and again 5 yrs. after that. I got a break for 9 yrs. during which time, I launched my husband’s career, but got sick again soon after. And soon after that. All told, I’ve survived 2 cancers: 1, 5X, 1, 2X. I’m trying to find my own voice and taken what you’ve said to heart esp. on tumblr., where I didn’t even realize where I started my blog had gone “live.”
    I’ve been reading 3-4 books/wk. to self-educate myself (never having finished college); I dream of writing my heart out someday. I started on tumblr. bc I got overwhelmed by WordPress (I’m no Tavi Gevinson!). Thank you for putting yourself out there honestly and allowing all to comment. You’ve given me much hope.

  25. March 29, 2014: Jennifer Edwards

    Love is so amazing to behold. Your little lady is waking up the planet with her lyrics. Kids LOVE her, without even realizing fully what she sings about. One day I hope she tells people “Biting down” is about the youtube documentary “Earthlings”. Then hopefully the world will truely wake up and can begin it’s change. Peace and Love to you both.

  26. March 29, 2014: Crystal Sands

    James and Ella….i am very proud of the maturity you both handle in the crazy world. It seems when success or true love is involved with the media theres always someone out there that wants to try and ruin it.
    James from what i have witnessed you are very talented with your photography. One of my best long time friends also does photography and filming which i highly support him for.
    Ella is stunning is so many natural ways with not only her looks or voice but her powerful confidence and the way she manages her life.
    Im much older than you both but look up to both of you dearly as heros.
    You both are adults and its only your business of everything and thats the way it should be. I can tell in photos of you two together the unconditional love you have and the vast range of respect also involved.
    I want to be just like you two when I grow up ;) Thanks for making a dynamic postive impact for your generation and may the strength always be there.
    Respectfully a friend from afar,
    Crystal Sands

  27. March 29, 2014: ZW

    Your blog is beautiful. “everybody returns someday” has such a real and authentic voice, it inspired me. I hope you keep what you have, stay true to the realness of your voice. I like the way you took the negatives and highlighted the positive. I think your support for your girlfriend is admirable. Keep writing

  28. March 29, 2014: Ingrid

    So very happy, can’t wait to see what else might be coming in the future :)

  29. March 29, 2014: simran

    this is so nice! a really lovely post, :)

  30. March 30, 2014: John Ca

    I read the article at yahoo.com. They butchered the link to your blog, but I found it anyway!

    I’m amazed by how grounded you seem, especially for your age (I’m 61). I admire your stance on this subject and how you are handling the exposure to fame.

    Best wishes to you and your girlfriend!

    Sincerely,
    John

  31. March 30, 2014: Brittany

    All I can say is, that this is beautiful. You have a wonderful mind and soul and I wish you all the best. It is young voices like yours that our society needs more of, honestly. Keep doing what you’re doing!
    Both you and Ella are such an inspiration.
    x Brittany

  32. March 30, 2014: Brooke

    James, you are my ultimate role model in life, you absolutely inspire me with everything you say and do. Not only are you an AMAZING photographer, you can fucking speak out to the world that’s been horrible to you. I love you so much, never stop being who you are cause it’s perfectly imperfect.

  33. March 31, 2014: Vivian Trinh

    Hi James, I just wanted to say that your writing and photos are beautiful. Keep your head up!

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